[Jokes] I love my Job

[Mark Williams]

True tales of a bad day at the office...
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Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad 
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at  work, so I 
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so 
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to  me, I first must 
bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies 
at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.  It's a wetsuit.

This time of year the water is quite  cool. So what we do to keep warm is 
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece 
of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.  It heats it to a delightful 
temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, 
which is taped  to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and 
I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the 
bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my 
wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a 
Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. 
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few 
seconds my butt started to burn.  I pulled the hose out from my back, but 
the damage was done.  In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water 
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.  Now, since I 
don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. 
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I 
thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack 
of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the 
communicator. His instructions  were unclear due to the fact that he, along 
with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I 
aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water 
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the 
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass  helmet. 
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of  laughter running 
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told  me to rub it on my butt 
as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put he fire out, but I couldn't 
poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're 
having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had 
a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job,!  I love my job".

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