[Jokes] Exam Answer

[Mark Williams]

Fine Variant on an old favourite....
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The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University Of 
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" 
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, 
of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs 
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas 
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need 
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which 
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets 
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different 
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that 
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there 
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more 
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of Souls 
in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of 
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the 
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has 
to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter 
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all 
Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in 
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman Year 
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into 
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be 
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen 
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it 
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, 
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"


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